Your mental health can affect the way you deal with money. 2022 is here many people set money goals such as I want to... save more, spend less, pay off the credit card, or make a big purchase, contribute more to your retirement, whatever it may be many people hope to do better with their money in the new year. However, if you have set this goal one too many times and never met your financial goals it may be time for you to do a deeper dive and check on your money spending habits, mood and beliefs about money.
In 2017 The American Psychology Association conducted a survey named “Stress in America”. This found “money” to be ranked 2nd among prominent stressors for Americans. I was surprised it wasn't # 1 honestly. Another sad fact I learned is America's with debt are three times more likely to contemplate suicide due to that debt.
According to minduk.org These are some common ways money can affect your mental health:
Certain situations might trigger feelings of anxiety and panic such as...
Another mind blowing stat according to Columbia University research Black and Hispanic women earn just 70% of the hourly wages that white men with similar educational backgrounds earn.
Not that this is not surprising but it does put thing in perspective for women and the stress we often deal with in additional to micro aggression the work place and how this can affect your mood with just trying to make ends meet and thrive to have a better quality of life.
It is important to understand how your money and mood patterns present. Many of us are guilty of retail therapy, we have to understand that you might spend to help your self feel better. It can even feel like a temporary high and then you make have a lot regrets after the fact. It is important to understand what mood you are in before you bust out that credit or debit card.
Are there certain times when you’re more likely to spend money?
Are there certain times when you’re more likely to save money?
How does it feel when you spend money?
These questions can help you be more mindful to help you understand you mood and spending patterns. Understanding how you learning about managing money from your care takers, can highly influence how you see money. For example if your parent also worried about not having enough to pay the bill's or even grocery shop you probably live in a scarcity mindset as adult.
A scarcity mindset is when you are so obsessed with a lack of something — usually time or money — that you can't seem to focus on anything else, no matter how hard you try. Have you ever felt like this? If so here are a few tips below to manage money stress.
5 ways to cope with money stress
1 - https://www.moneyandmentalhealth.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/debt-mental-health-facts-2019.pdf
The Pandemic, helped me learn to love my hair just the way it is and how it grows out of my scalp. Now what the heck am I suppose to do with my hair??? The world is shut down. Did you panic like me when COVID shut everything down and we could no longer see our beauticians. At first I was ok but after a few washed on my own, I was like ummm... bun, flat iron, this is too much. It was sad that managing my natural hair was too much work for me.
April 2020 TIRED!!! After washing my own hair!
I did buy a few headband wigs at first. Then I realized I really needed to embrace my own hair. I've wore a Jeri Curl, Press (hot comb), Braids, Wigs, Weave, Perms, Flat Iron, Blow outs...the list goes on...the black woman's hair journey is serious sis. It often starts with our mothers just wanting to find easier ways to manage our hair, when were young we'll in the 80's is was hot combs, perms and jeri curls. Why I finally decided to loc my hair?
My 19 year old daughter honestly started with getting locs and she encouraged me to as well.
Getting sister locs is the best decision I ever made. It took 3 days and a lot of coin, but the freedom has been heaven sent. I was very comfortable with allowing someone else manage my hair, wash it, braid it, weave it.
Trying to impress people at work and or being worried about what other people would think about my natural hair was honestly sad. This is me and this is now my hair grows out of my scalp and I love it. One thing I am thankful for during the Pandemic world shut down, is it gave me the time to love my hair and take time to get to know me.
Sisterlocs are the most versatile locking method available. They give you many styling options depending on your preference. For instance, if you want them to look bigger, you can use the two strand twisting method. Also, if you have curly ones, you can flat iron them to make them straight.
Now I have locs and 2 out of my 3 daughter do as well. Best decision ever! No products, comb's, detangling FREEDOM!!! I can hear my ancestors giving me a round of applause. Now I have to change my profile picture :).
Being married and being happily married are two different things.
Sharing my journey of 25 years of marriage and why we still choose each other...
The fact that my husband and I have been married 25 years is honestly shocking.
However, I realize that I am extremely blessed and fortunate.
Not only do I still love my husband, but I really like him.
Too often in marriages one, or both, of these feelings is lost.
A happy marriage does not happen overnight, it takes a lot of compromise, prayer and time to grow in love.
When there is a foundation of caring and love, then you can trust at all times that you will get through whatever difficulties you are facing.
When we tell people we have been married for 25 years, they want to know some tips.
Marriage Takes 3
I once thought marriage took
Just two to make a go
But now I am convinced
It takes the Lord also.
And not one marriage fails
Where Christ is asked to enter
As lovers come together
With Jesus at the center.
But marriage seldom thrives
And homes are incomplete
Till He is welcomed there
To help avoid defeat.
In homes where God is first
It’s obvious to see
Those unions really work,
For marriage still takes three.
Building a happy, healthy relationship is hard work and requires growth from both partners.
At times, this can mean processing difficult events and tolerating discomfort.
For my husband and I we learned Marriage takes three? Husband, wife and God.
Yes, compromise and communication are important, but what we have learned is both people in the marriage have to want to grow in love and be each others biggest supporter.
As individuals we change throughout our stages of life.
You have to be on the same team and always express kindness, appreciation and responsibility when you drop the ball.
Every day is not going to be sunshine and rainbows, but it doesn’t have to be thunderstorms and hurricanes either.
My Top 10 Tips...
1. Keep God First
2. Keep Laughing
3. Don't Keep Score
4. Don't sweat the Small Stuff
6. Remain Friends
7. Keep your relationship issues between you and your spouse and (therapist ) :)
8. Keep it Sexy (Take off the bonnet ladies)
9. Plan Date night monthly
10. Stay Flexible
By NaTasha A. Bailey. LMFT
The day of Love is near, and while many are shopping for that perfect gift to say I love you in a special way for a significant other. I write to you today to remind you, on this Valentine’s Day, don’t forget to love yourself! It’s an immense feeling when you show yourself love and care.
Foreboding the ability to appreciate and enjoy your own company has somewhat become a lost art.
With our minds constantly being filled and influenced by the “false” images of “perfection” on social media, it can make one feel inadequate or subordinate to another.
However, I encourage you to love and celebrate who you are!
Here are a few tips from Psychology Today on how to practice Self Love:
1. Forgive Yourself- “You have to accept your humanness (the fact that you are not perfect) before you can truly love yourself.” I totally agree, we all live and learn. Except that we are all on this journey called Life!
2. Live Intentionally- “You will accept and love yourself more, and whatever is happening in your life when you live with purpose and design.” So definitely live on Purpose!
3. Practice Good Self Care- “You will love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs. Nourish yourself daily through healthy activities such as sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy, and healthy social interactions.”
So as we celebrate Love on many levels this Valentines Day, it’s perfectly okay to buy yourself some roses or chocolate. It’s perfectly okay to look in the mirror and say “I love you”, and it is perfectly okay to enjoy your own company!
Until next time May God bless you with, Peace, Love, Joy, and Prosperity.
From Mind 2 Mend
Happy Valentine's Day <3
Photos By R.F. Studios
By: NaTasha A. Bailey, LMFT
As this calamitous year of 2020 comes to an end (thank goodness). We are all so very eager to look towards hope for 2021. To kick off the New Year, with hope, joy, and vision of the goals you aspire to reach this fantastic upcoming year. Speak it into existence NOW!! I have a cool and fun project for you, your family, friends, and even the little ones can join in on the fun, in creating your 2021 Manifestation Board!
All you need is:
1. Large poster board + markers
2. Magazines/or printed pictures
3. Scissors + Glue
4. A creative mind
To start, create a list of goals you would like to achieve. Next choose photos, quotes, people, and places that represent those goals, as well as inspire you.
Don’t forget to MAKE IT FUN !! Play some music, pick an open airy space, where you are free to allow your creativity to flow. Say boldly with me “No more excuse”! This is YOUR life, YOUR time, and YOUR goals being set to be achieved. After your board is complete, prepare to manifest. According to Psychology Today, mental practices (like visualization) can increase motivation, confidence, and even motor performance. Let’s get ready to manifest a great future.
In 3 straightforward steps, you are on your way to the life you desire. That until now has been prolonged and only dreamed of.
Place your manifestation board on a clear site in front of you. Ask the universe (God), for what you have placed on the board and mean it. Now, Believe in your heart that all will come to pass and be accomplished. Allow yourself to begin to feel as though everything is already true, and present. Embrace that smile, excitement, and positive energy beginning to travel through you and celebrate. Say Thank You in advance. Knowing that all these things are now flowing towards you. Receive all that you have asked, and believe God for, thrive, and live this New Year in love, peace, and joy. May 2021 bring restoration, glee, and optimism. Our faith has been immensely stretched, yet elevated.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Smile ;) WE MADE IT #gratitude
NaTasha A. Bailey, LMFT
Photo by Joshua Abner
By: NaTasha A. Bailey, LMFT
2020 has been a year of tremendous loss for so many. I have experienced a very close personal loss in my family like so many others in the world. So this is a process I had to embark on taking myself. And now that I have journeyed through this process I am here to encourage and help you with 3 easy tips to begin the process of healing.
1. GET REAL Sometimes we feel very deep emotions and try our best to suppress them as if it will all go away. Running from internal pain will never lead to true happiness or joy. We must face it, head-on, look it straight in the face and deal with it. If we do not things will start to build up and When you least expect it pain from a Particular situation can spill out and affect different aspects of our lives. And so I say first, let’s acknowledge the emotion.
2. ITS OKAY TO CRY If your upbringing was anything like mine, then from a very early age I was taught that I had to be strong. And being strong is great, however, it also can become a repeated behavior of suppressing feelings and emotions to merely portray strength. The greatest advice that I ever received was that it’s OK to cry. Knowing that you can feel and release emotion is very freeing. I was told it won’t always last! You will not cry Every minute, every hour, every day, every month, every quarter, or every year. So at this moment cry if you need to because the next moment may bring joy. Photo by Lucxama Sylvain
3. TURN A NEW LEAF Decide TODAY that you have what it takes inside to overcome life’s obstacles. Speak a positive word over yourself. Smile. Watch your favorite movie, you know the one where it doesn’t matter how many times you have seen it, it’s as funny as the very first time! Activate your body and get moving! Start by stretching and a light workout. Working out is great stress relief as well. Speak out loud a few positive affirmations with me:
“I AM STRONG, I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE AND FEELINGS, I AM BLESSED, GOD WILL PROVIDE ALL MY NEEDS, I AM LOVED, I AM FORGIVEN, MY FUTURE LOOKS BRIGHT, I AM EXCITED ABOUT LIFE AND THE NEW POSSIBILITIES, MY MIND IS CLEAR, I AM WELL, I HAVE PEACE, MY FUTURE IS BRIGHT, I AM EXCITED ABOUT ALL THE BLESSINGS COMING MY WAY, I AM GRATEFUL AND IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL!!
I want to encourage you to stay on your path towards healing. Not everything is done in one day. Be proud of yourself for taking the initiative to START. Seek counseling or professional help if you feel you need it. Don’t be afraid to reach out to others in tough times. You don’t have to go it alone. I hope this has been a help to you, as it has been for me.
Always remember to stay strong, stay positive, and keep your faith. Your future is looking brighter already!! Until next time Peace, Love, and Good vibrations.
NaTasha A, Bailey, LMFT
Raising girls, was the assignment God gave me. Being a BLACK GIRL MOM has been the most rewarding experiences of my life. I love being a BLACK GIRL MOM!
This blog will give you a few helpful tips and lessons. I've learned raising my 3 girls in our crazy world today.
Attachment is closely related to and overlaps with other aspects of parent-child relationship quality, such as support, warmth, and closeness, but is a distinct theoretically grounded construct linking parental relationships to peer and romantic relationships. Essentially, attachment represents an internalized perception of security in relationships. An attachment pattern is established in early childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood.
Therefore, these four styles of attachment are:
Black girls need to hear kind words that they are smart and beautiful and that we love and value them. If we do not the wrong people may will get in their ear and will tell them horrible things. Black girls often encounter prejudice, discrimination and racism as they grow up. Moreover, they will have to deal with stereotypes based on the negative media images that often over sexualize black girls. Monitor what they engage in on social media know who their friends are. Set rules while they are young especially with social media as you allow them to have cell phones. Speak positive to them because they will endure a lot of negative images and unkind words.
2. Slow down and be present. Listen to your daughter, even when she is talking about issues that do not seem to be important.
When children know you are paying attention to them, it makes them feel important. And if they always feel that they don’t have your attention, it hurts their self-esteem. Let her voice be heard, and show her that her voice is powerful, important and meaningful to you. Engage your daughter in conversation, encourage her to speak her mind, let her know that her opinions and thoughts are important. It is easy to be so busy that you are moving so fast you miss something important. Stop and listen intentionally.
3. Speak well of other black women!
Did you know? 42 percent of teenage African-American girls with low self-esteem have mothers who criticize their own looks; 53 percent of African-American girl’s ages 13 to 17 turn to their mothers as a resource when feeling bad about themselves compared with 86 percent of African-American girls ages 8 to 12. (Kellee Terrell 2009).
Nothing screams low self-esteem like a woman who is always speaking negatively of others. If you are always gossiping or putting down other women, this will rub off on your children. Women who love themselves and are confident will find more praise to give than negative gossip to spread.
I hope these 3 tips will help you, I am still learning every day as my daughters grow into adult women, I am on a new journey as a black girl mom to adult black women mom. I’ll let you know how this part goes…Pray for me!
NaTasha A. Bailey, MS, LMFT
Photography by: Oluremi Adebayo
HOW DO I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF DURING COVID-19 CRISIS
Stress is a part of life and we all deal it. How we choose to manage our stress is key to surviving difficult times. Uncertainty, is on full blast right now with ours jobs, school, relationships and even vacation plans. You have the right to feel anxious . According to its medical definition, anxiety is a state consisting of psychological and physical symptoms brought about by a sense of apprehension at a perceived threat. Not all anxiety is bad for us. Some anxiety can help motivate us to get things done and in order. For example, when preparing for a presentation, you may organize and have better time management in order to be better prepared to do your best.
Anxiety is a normal response to life experiences, a protective mechanism that has evolved both to prevent us from entering into potentially dangerous situations. Be clear anxiety cause various emotions but emotions are not facts. Be aware what your feelings are telling you. You need to discern what your feelings are trying to tell you.
Emotions are not always accurate and they are not to be trusted. No doubt that things will be tough for all of us right now, give yourself grace and be kind to yourself and others. This too shall pass. You got this sis!
Here are a few healthy coping tips to help you deal with stress during these uncertain times.
Photo By: Christina Morillo
New Year New Level! I am excited to announce I will be offering Telehealth Sessions Services for current clients if appropriate. Life Happens and sometimes you may want to meet virtually instead of coming into the office.
So What is Telehealth?
Under California law, "Telehealth" is the delivery of health care services using information and communication technologies to consult, diagnose, treat, or educate a patient while the patient is at an “originating site” and the health care provider is at a “distant site.”
If you are interested in Telehealth Sessions. Please contact me at email@example.com to discuss this service option.
NaTasha Bailey M.S., LMFT
680 Old Telegraph Canyon Rd., Suite 201, Chula Vista, CA, 91910