By NaTasha A. Bailey. LMFT
The day of Love is near, and while many are shopping for that perfect gift to say I love you in a special way for a significant other. I write to you today to remind you, on this Valentine’s Day, don’t forget to love yourself! It’s an immense feeling when you show yourself love and care.
Foreboding the ability to appreciate and enjoy your own company has somewhat become a lost art.
With our minds constantly being filled and influenced by the “false” images of “perfection” on social media, it can make one feel inadequate or subordinate to another.
However, I encourage you to love and celebrate who you are!
Here are a few tips from Psychology Today on how to practice Self Love:
1. Forgive Yourself- “You have to accept your humanness (the fact that you are not perfect) before you can truly love yourself.” I totally agree, we all live and learn. Except that we are all on this journey called Life!
2. Live Intentionally- “You will accept and love yourself more, and whatever is happening in your life when you live with purpose and design.” So definitely live on Purpose!
3. Practice Good Self Care- “You will love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs. Nourish yourself daily through healthy activities such as sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy, and healthy social interactions.”
So as we celebrate Love on many levels this Valentines Day, it’s perfectly okay to buy yourself some roses or chocolate. It’s perfectly okay to look in the mirror and say “I love you”, and it is perfectly okay to enjoy your own company!
Until next time May God bless you with, Peace, Love, Joy, and Prosperity.
From Mind 2 Mend
Happy Valentine's Day <3
Photos By R.F. Studios
By: NaTasha A. Bailey, LMFT
As this calamitous year of 2020 comes to an end (thank goodness). We are all so very eager to look towards hope for 2021. To kick off the New Year, with hope, joy, and vision of the goals you aspire to reach this fantastic upcoming year. Speak it into existence NOW!! I have a cool and fun project for you, your family, friends, and even the little ones can join in on the fun, in creating your 2021 Manifestation Board!
All you need is:
1. Large poster board + markers
2. Magazines/or printed pictures
3. Scissors + Glue
4. A creative mind
To start, create a list of goals you would like to achieve. Next choose photos, quotes, people, and places that represent those goals, as well as inspire you.
Don’t forget to MAKE IT FUN !! Play some music, pick an open airy space, where you are free to allow your creativity to flow. Say boldly with me “No more excuse”! This is YOUR life, YOUR time, and YOUR goals being set to be achieved. After your board is complete, prepare to manifest. According to Psychology Today, mental practices (like visualization) can increase motivation, confidence, and even motor performance. Let’s get ready to manifest a great future.
In 3 straightforward steps, you are on your way to the life you desire. That until now has been prolonged and only dreamed of.
Place your manifestation board on a clear site in front of you. Ask the universe (God), for what you have placed on the board and mean it. Now, Believe in your heart that all will come to pass and be accomplished. Allow yourself to begin to feel as though everything is already true, and present. Embrace that smile, excitement, and positive energy beginning to travel through you and celebrate. Say Thank You in advance. Knowing that all these things are now flowing towards you. Receive all that you have asked, and believe God for, thrive, and live this New Year in love, peace, and joy. May 2021 bring restoration, glee, and optimism. Our faith has been immensely stretched, yet elevated.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Smile ;) WE MADE IT #gratitude
NaTasha A. Bailey, LMFT
Photo by Joshua Abner
By: NaTasha A. Bailey, LMFT
2020 has been a year of tremendous loss for so many. I have experienced a very close personal loss in my family like so many others in the world. So this is a process I had to embark on taking myself. And now that I have journeyed through this process I am here to encourage and help you with 3 easy tips to begin the process of healing.
1. GET REAL Sometimes we feel very deep emotions and try our best to suppress them as if it will all go away. Running from internal pain will never lead to true happiness or joy. We must face it, head-on, look it straight in the face and deal with it. If we do not things will start to build up and When you least expect it pain from a Particular situation can spill out and affect different aspects of our lives. And so I say first, let’s acknowledge the emotion.
2. ITS OKAY TO CRY If your upbringing was anything like mine, then from a very early age I was taught that I had to be strong. And being strong is great, however, it also can become a repeated behavior of suppressing feelings and emotions to merely portray strength. The greatest advice that I ever received was that it’s OK to cry. Knowing that you can feel and release emotion is very freeing. I was told it won’t always last! You will not cry Every minute, every hour, every day, every month, every quarter, or every year. So at this moment cry if you need to because the next moment may bring joy. Photo by Lucxama Sylvain
3. TURN A NEW LEAF Decide TODAY that you have what it takes inside to overcome life’s obstacles. Speak a positive word over yourself. Smile. Watch your favorite movie, you know the one where it doesn’t matter how many times you have seen it, it’s as funny as the very first time! Activate your body and get moving! Start by stretching and a light workout. Working out is great stress relief as well. Speak out loud a few positive affirmations with me:
“I AM STRONG, I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE AND FEELINGS, I AM BLESSED, GOD WILL PROVIDE ALL MY NEEDS, I AM LOVED, I AM FORGIVEN, MY FUTURE LOOKS BRIGHT, I AM EXCITED ABOUT LIFE AND THE NEW POSSIBILITIES, MY MIND IS CLEAR, I AM WELL, I HAVE PEACE, MY FUTURE IS BRIGHT, I AM EXCITED ABOUT ALL THE BLESSINGS COMING MY WAY, I AM GRATEFUL AND IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL!!
I want to encourage you to stay on your path towards healing. Not everything is done in one day. Be proud of yourself for taking the initiative to START. Seek counseling or professional help if you feel you need it. Don’t be afraid to reach out to others in tough times. You don’t have to go it alone. I hope this has been a help to you, as it has been for me.
Always remember to stay strong, stay positive, and keep your faith. Your future is looking brighter already!! Until next time Peace, Love, and Good vibrations.
NaTasha A, Bailey, LMFT
Raising girls, was the assignment God gave me. Being a BLACK GIRL MOM has been the most rewarding experiences of my life. I love being a BLACK GIRL MOM!
This blog will give you a few helpful tips and lessons. I've learned raising my 3 girls in our crazy world today.
Attachment is closely related to and overlaps with other aspects of parent-child relationship quality, such as support, warmth, and closeness, but is a distinct theoretically grounded construct linking parental relationships to peer and romantic relationships. Essentially, attachment represents an internalized perception of security in relationships. An attachment pattern is established in early childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood.
Therefore, these four styles of attachment are:
Black girls need to hear kind words that they are smart and beautiful and that we love and value them. If we do not the wrong people may will get in their ear and will tell them horrible things. Black girls often encounter prejudice, discrimination and racism as they grow up. Moreover, they will have to deal with stereotypes based on the negative media images that often over sexualize black girls. Monitor what they engage in on social media know who their friends are. Set rules while they are young especially with social media as you allow them to have cell phones. Speak positive to them because they will endure a lot of negative images and unkind words.
2. Slow down and be present. Listen to your daughter, even when she is talking about issues that do not seem to be important. When children know you are paying attention to them, it makes them feel important. And if they always feel that they don’t have your attention, it hurts their self-esteem. Let her voice be heard, and show her that her voice is powerful, important and meaningful to you. Engage your daughter in conversation, encourage her to speak her mind, let her know that her opinions and thoughts are important. It east easy to be so busy that you are moving so fast you miss something important. Stop and listen intentionally.
3. Speak well of other black women! Did you know? 42 percent of teenage African-American girls with low self-esteem have mothers who criticize their own looks; 53 percent of African-American girl’s ages 13 to 17 turn to their mothers as a resource when feeling bad about themselves compared with 86 percent of African-American girls ages 8 to 12. (Kellee Terrell 2009).
Nothing screams low self-esteem like a woman who is always speaking negatively of others. If you are always gossiping or putting down other women, this will rub off on your children. Women who love themselves and are confident will find more praise to give than negative gossip to spread.
I hope these 3 tips will help you, I am still learning every day as my daughters grow into adult women, I am on a new journey as a black girl mom to adult black women mom. I’ll let you know how this part goes…Pray for me!
NaTasha A. Bailey, MS, LMFT
Photography by: Oluremi Adebayo
HOW DO I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF DURING COVID-19 CRISIS
Stress is a part of life and we all deal it. How we choose to manage our stress is key to surviving difficult times. Uncertainty, is on full blast right now with ours jobs, school, relationships and even vacation plans. You have the right to feel anxious . According to its medical definition, anxiety is a state consisting of psychological and physical symptoms brought about by a sense of apprehension at a perceived threat. Not all anxiety is bad for us. Some anxiety can help motivate us to get things done and in order. For example, when preparing for a presentation, you may organize and have better time management in order to be better prepared to do your best.
Anxiety is a normal response to life experiences, a protective mechanism that has evolved both to prevent us from entering into potentially dangerous situations. Be clear anxiety cause various emotions but emotions are not facts. Be aware what your feelings are telling you. You need to discern what your feelings are trying to tell you.
Emotions are not always accurate and they are not to be trusted. No doubt that things will be tough for all of us right now, give yourself grace and be kind to yourself and others. This too shall pass. You got this sis!
Here are a few healthy coping tips to help you deal with stress during these uncertain times.
New Year New Level! I am excited to announce I will be offering Telehealth Sessions Services for current clients if appropriate. Life Happens and sometimes you may want to meet virtually instead of coming into the office.
So What is Telehealth?
Under California law, "Telehealth" is the delivery of health care services using information and communication technologies to consult, diagnose, treat, or educate a patient while the patient is at an “originating site” and the health care provider is at a “distant site.”
If you are interested in Telehealth Sessions. Please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org to discuss this service option.
NaTasha Bailey M.S., LMFT
680 Old Telegraph Canyon Rd., Suite 201, Chula Vista, CA, 91910
My journey to becoming a licensed therapist did not start off in a traditional college setting. Throughout my professional career the occupations I held were, Certified Nurse Assistant, US Postal Services Worker, Social Services Director and Residential Care administrator for the elderly, Protective Services Worker with Child Welfare Services, Long-term Care Ombudsman. Yes, I have held many jobs prior to becoming a therapist.
I had more than 10 years of professional experience in the helping profession, when I realized I wanted to become a therapist in 2009. At this time I was a mother of three girls ages 3, 6 and 9 years and working full time for Child Protective Services.
I will never forget the day I walked out of court after recommending that a single black mother child reunified with her children. This mother followed her reunification case plan and attended therapy for over a year, due to her own trauma and mental illness she had many challenges reunifying with her children. I consulted with her therapist several times and read countless treatment plans on her progress.
I felt proud to be apart of helping put a family back together and realized instead of being the social worker who remove children and write court reports, I wanted to be on the other side of helping families, heal from past traumas and abuse. This case made me believe that psychotherapy was beneficial and powerful.
Growing up in a disfranchised urban neighborhood in Southeast San Diego, I have witnessed firsthand how the lack of cultural diverse needs in public mental health care has hindered my community. I myself did not believe in therapy and bought into the stigma of “Black people don’t go to therapy" until I witness several people healing and starting a path to new lives with the help of psychotherapy. This was a motivating factor to be a change agent for my community. As a former Protective Services Worker with the County of San Diego it was often a challenge to refer families on my caseload to therapists within the community that were minorities.
As an African-American woman I represent a voice for a large community of under served minorities. This gave me the motivation to attend graduate school to become a Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT). As an MFT, my vision is to outreach to African Americans and other minorities about the importance of mental health treatment and clinical trials while educating and supporting disfranchised communities on mental health services. I understand the dynamics of negative reactions from some African Americans about seeking counseling for any reason. I believe my exposure in the community as a mental health professional has been a valuable contribution due to the lack of minority MFT’s.
My community faces severe economic, cultural, linguistic and physical barriers for treatment of mental illness, difficulties which prevent individuals from being properly treated. As a family member to someone who suffers from mental illness it was difficult to find resources to help my own family who suffers from depression. The biggest factor was my family’s misconception about services for mental illness. I also experienced these same thoughts prior to my exposure and education about mental health services. I believe this affects how many ethnic minorities communicate symptoms of mental illness, and their willingness to seek treatment.
No longer is the middle-class white American’s were the only population seeking counselor the United States has become one big melting pot and today a MFT’s will more than likely treat client’s from various backgrounds and cultural beliefs.
Given the range of the diverse populations I have worked with it is my passion to work as an MFT to help reverse the stigma of mental health issues in my community. The knowledge I acquired while working with the county helped me realize the critical needs in the public mental health care system. My desire to interact with people and understand their experiences from being minority, a women a mother and most importantly a child who grew up with a single parent having to seek out resources in the community.
I have learned to be emphatic and lay aside my own judgments and values. I know first-hand what it means to be culturally competent to meet the needs of my clients based on my personal and professional experience. My post-degree training and experience has allow me to provide mental health services for disfranchised communities. As a licensed therapist I integrate wellness, recovery and resiliency concepts to work effectively with diverse groups.
My commitment as a licensed MFT is to create outcome-driven services to my community and properly detecting and treating mental health disorders.